My Japanese Lesbian Porno?

Crazy lady is bored.  When she is bored, she plays with numbers.  Lately, these numbers include statistics behind people who visit my blog.  Normally, I get about 5,000 hits per day, usually from folks interested in Star Wars posters and Cooking Mama Killer.  Occasionally, an odd set of "Google search words" causes an influx of blog hits.  Mostly the words are "Sugar Daddy," and other times "sweet sugar gay."  Seriously-- up until this past week, those were the most common searches that resulted in a Sugar Sweet blog hit.  This week?  "Sugar Sweet movie" and "Sugar Sweet lesbian porn" were the most common Google search phrases to land strangers onto my web page.  Over 30,000 hits from India, over 22,000 hits from Turkey, and at least 10,000 hits from France in over 5 days.  Are they looking for this adorable image?

Probably not.  My guess is that they are looking for this:

So, what happens when you add Japanese lesbian porn, Sugar Sweet web site hits, and crazy lady's need to kill time before surgery?  Yep, she ordered the film from Netflix and discovered this tidbit on YouTube:

Supposedly, the film is not pornographic.  People (most of them probably inundated with testosterone poisoning)  see the words "lesbian film" and immediately think "hot girl-on-girl action."  Still, imagine the many visitors from India, Turkey and France who are reading my blog posts and wondering, "WTF?"  So, this special "shout out" is to my many new, unexpected fans who have visited the Sugar Sweet blog this week:

 Welcome, Sugar Sweet lesbian film buffs!

Giant bootilicious

Crazy lady has an idea. I'm a working dog. She says, "as soon as we get your bee-hind in California next week, we are starting you on a diet." She plans to teach me to cook, like this silly dog:

Yeah, apparently Wild Dingo was correct-- I've gained weight. I now carry 35 lbs on my delicate frame! I'm chunky, with a humongous booty. Crazy lady refuses to perpetuate the stereotype of "fat people having fat dogs." She's putting me on a California diet. Guess what? I'm putting her on a diet, too! No reason why I should be the only miserable, skinny bitch in this relationship...Say goodbye to my giant booty!

Did you'all see much?

Crazy lady can't stand the food, but loves the woman. A long, long time ago, my mom produced a cooking show called "Becky and Jody's Good Eats." It focused on "food of questionable nutritional value." In other words, spam, jello, mayonnaise and cool whip concoctions were a big part of the show. Paula Deen's recipes would have been featured the same week as the "Elvis, the man and his food" specials. Ah yes, crazy lady remembers the good ol' days of Becky & Jody's...

Wino Tomato Sauce

Sunday was a snow day. I spent most of the day glaring at crazy lady and staring at the snowflakes. Crazy lady cooked. She worked her way through graduate school as a line cook (one of many, many jobs), and finds that making soups and sauces helps the healing process. She made a creamy spinach soup and her famous "wino" sauce. Here's the recipe for the sauce:

2 teaspoons olive oil
1 medium onion (or 2 small), chopped
2 medium garlic cloves, wacked with a knife or minced
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons ground fennel
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 teaspoon dried basil
1/3 cup good red wine
3 cups undrained canned tomatoes (28-ounce can)
pinch red pepper flakes

(1) Add the oil, onions, garlic at a low heat.
(2) Add the salt & pepper flakes & dry herbs. Don't forget the fennel! The fennel makes the sauce taste like meat. Seriously. Veggies always complained that she slipped them a meat sauce whenever she served it in lasagna or penne.
(3) When the onions start to "pop" because most of their liquid has reduced, add the wine.
The trick is to use a full, robust red wine. The onions & garlic & herbs should turn a deep, soupy purple, after you add the wine. Of course, crazy lady always add more than 1/3 cup...
(4) Let the liquid reduce, about half the original size. Inhale the fumes. Mmmm...wino...
(5) Add the canned tomatoes, including liquid.
(6) Let it gently bubble for 30-60 minutes.
(7) Use your hand mixer to liquify the sauce. Potato mashers and blenders work well, too. Make it as creamy or lumpy as you like.
That's it! Crazy lady quadrupled the batch, to freeze the sauce for a later day.
You don't have to add extra oil when you double (or triple or quadruple) the recipe. The onions & garlic soften great, if you keep the heat down low and the pot's top slightly ajar to trap moisture. It's a trick she learned from the fine folks at Moosewood Restaurant.

One last money shot:
Enjoy!