Demon spawn

Poodles, this is unholy, unjust, and WRONG. Bambi is LUNCH, not a sexy plaything to whittle away your afternoons.

More about this madness here.

Evil One and Snack

(from a friend in this morning's email)
The Jesusita Fire in Santa Barbara, CA last week caused these two to take shelter together. The fawn is 3 days old and the bobcat about 3 weeks. The fawn came from somewhere in the fire and the bobcat from Carpentaria. They immediately bonded and snuggled together under a desk in the Santa Barbara County Dispatch Office for several hours.Isn't it wonderful? My favorite food source naturally bonded with an Evil One. Is it dinner, yet?

Twilight Bambi

I'm patiently watching Bambi jump the fence, in the early evening. Waiting for crazy lady to give the "okay" to munch Bambi for dinner. Yeah, like THAT will ever happen, again...

Baby Bambi

We ran into this newborn critter, during our early morning walk in the woods today:I wore my e-collar, and only required 1 small zap to return to crazy lady on the trail. She had no idea what I was "hunting" until I walked her back to the baby deer, for another look. As soon as she saw the deer, crazy lady warned me to "leave it," and she said "let's go." Darn it. The compulsion to obey was greater than my desire to hunt. I was really hoping for a morning snack. I whined and barked, but followed crazy lady on the trail. She said that she is very proud of my restraint-- and very happy that I was trained to avert disaster. Crazy lady still has flashbacks to my smiling, bloody face, the last time we ran into Bambi.

Tools of Evil

Crazy lady has decided to use my blog for some much-needed humor before the election. Enjoy this clip from The Simpsons!

In other news, we spent some time last week roaming the foothills of Mount Diablo without a leash. Crazy lady had me wear the shock collar, but she only had to use a high setting after I became really, really excited when my friends showed-up. She was worried when I ran into the street without stopping, even when she used a lower setting (at first). I won't go running into the street again, any time soon. Later, I hung out with the other dogs while crazy lady went for sushi. See some wonderful pictures here. There are even a couple of pictures with crazy lady and "lady's man" Boomer. Boomer is a total stud muffin!
Finally, we had a Bambi sighting on Friday. The mamma deer was with her little one, and limping. You can't see my bite marks on her hind leg, but you can tell she was having trouble walking. Crazy lady brought me outside, as part of the aversion therapy-- but I refused to take the bait. I stayed by her side, not moving. I knew the deer were in MY back yard, but I was too smart to risk getting shocked. Again.

Bambi? Yum. Lunch.

Today, I developed a taste for Bambi. Crazy lady had just returned home, and she was on the phone. I had to pee, so she let me outside. Five seconds later, she saw a deer race by the open door-- with me chasing her, at full speed! I barely heard the, "holy shit, oh my god, stop, stop, oh my god, stop, ewwww, gross, stop!"

For an atheist, she certainly said god's name a lot.

I was too intent on capturing and chomping on the deer. I had grabbed the deer's hind legs and swung my 32 lb body full speed against the side of the beast, causing it to fall on the ground. It tried to kick me, but I was able to immobilize it with my strong jaw. I felt water hit my body, but didn't stop. Did crazy lady honestly think the hose would stop the hunt?

The deer escaped, and I chased it around the area and into the neighbor's yard. I was able to jump and sink my teeth into the deer 5 times. I could hear crazy lady running after me, swearing and falling over bricks. I was too fast, and having too much fun!

Crazy lady was finally able to stop me by getting in between myself and the injured deer. She calmly said "stop" and "stay" while holding out her hand. I stopped and stayed, smiling at her and covered in blood. I figured, "hey, I did all the work. She can have the final kill." I walked away and decided it was time to poop in the neighbor's yard. I ignored crazy lady's "un-frickin-believable" and let her take me home.

Crazy lady hosed me off and checked for injuries, especially since I was covered in blood. Although I wasn't hurt, she took me to the vet and I had to have a rabies booster shot. Animal control came and took care of the deer. They were very impressed with my prey instinct. One officer gave me a compliment: "Wow, she's so tiny and pretty. I wish I could have seen her take down that big deer. Amazing that she's not hurt. She'd be a great search and rescue dog, if properly trained."

Crazy lady can't sit or walk since she tore her groin muscles during the chase. She needed a distraction from her injuries, so crazy lady did some research about Formosan dogs, my breed from Taiwan. She was surprised at how a puny dog (her words, I prefer "beautiful sleek bitch") could take down a large animal. She found out that, through selective breeding, my ancestors were trained to hunt deer and wild boar. Here are some pictures she found from 1926:

Doesn't this look like my great, great, great grandma?
Crazy lady knows that she can't remove the prey instinct, but she made an appointment with a special trainer to see if he can teach me to "come" next time this happens. She's also keeping me in the dog run and house, to try and prevent this from happening again. Will this happen again? Absolutely. There are lots of deer around here, and I had the time of my life!