Corn! Greens! Beans! Squash! Watermelon!

(already, CL has begun harvesting salad greens, coriander, parsley, basil, chard and summer squash...she has counted over 30 corn silks, 50 squash, 12 heads of lettuce and 100 beans! and the sunflowers have busted through the 7 foot nets...me? no vermin has entered the garden, thanks to my mad huntress skills...7 dead moles, 2 dead gophers, and at least 20 dead field mice encompass my current body count)

Why me?

She-Ra, Princess of Power

Loo-Kee the trusted Conceal

And-- wait!  What's this?

Yeah, another one.  He's not a foster, but one of the poodles from CL's next door neighbor.  We have him for 10 days.  Sigh.  Does no one respect the alpha bitch in this household? Slap some wings on this little yapper and we have Kowl crashing in my home:

CL is smitten, though.  His name is Bodi, and he is quiet, playful, cuddly and has a hot bromance going on with Duncan, the traitorous manwhore.  At least Bodi has some mad "kill skills..."

Gotta respect the hunter in this dude.

Doggy Swap

 Juju has left our home to stay with Judy at Walkin' the Bark Rescue.  So long, fabulous playmate...

Why did he leave?  Well, it had nothing to do with his behavior.  He is an awesome dog. Under the tutelage of CL, Nick, Miss J and myself, Juju learned to "sit," "come," pee outside (always a good thing, huh?), play with doggies of all shapes and sizes, and kindly welcome strangers into our home.  It was time for Judy to find him a forever home, however, and for us to welcome a new little pup who needed a place to stay.  Meet Duncan...

Keep checking my blog for upcoming adventures with "Mo Mo Mohawk" Duncan. Our household is looking forward to teaching him "mad skills" and finding him the perfect forever home.  Personally,  I can't wait to show him my amazing snake hunting-and-burial techniques.  (4 kills in 7 days!  CL is not pleased...heh.)

And, the hunt begins...

In less than 2 hours, I have taught this newbie the "power of the hunt" for those demon spawns (aka squirrels):

Of course, I reserve the right to roll around the freshly dug grave:

You?  Keep chompin' those bully sticks, sweetness...

...maybe, if you're good, I'll let you munch the tail.

Attack of the Demon Spawn

(not to be confused with Evil Ones)
Two nights ago, I had a minor altercation with this:

I had trapped the creature and her babies against the fence, before crazy lady stopped me with the stupid "leave it" and "come" commands.  Damn training.  Crazy lady may have halted the madness before any bodily fluids were exchanged, but I still developed a taste for their sweet nectar.  Unfortunately, today, in the wee morning hours, the Demon Spawn climbed onto the roof with her family and stuck her face and paws against the window.  She stared directly at me and hissed.  I do not cower from a challenge-- especially from prey at 2 AM-- and I decided to kill the Demon Spawn.  An overloaded bookshelf, stereo speakers, computer wires, and a silly window on the second floor was not going to stop me.  I am powerful.

Needless to say, it was a long night.  I wanted out-- the Demon Spawn and her devil babies wanted in-- and crazy lady wanted sleep.  In between the "leave it" and "go to bed" commands (which actually worked, until the hissing against the window started, again),  crazy lady kept mumbling, "un-frackin-believable" and "did you have to torture that mamma coon, last night?"  So what if the creature is looking for revenge? A good fight?  I know I am an awesome huntress, and the midnight hour is the best time to prowl for my goodies.  Demon Spawn beware...

 

I am not a weakling, like this poor excuse for a canine: 

Can you find me?

Crazy lady has been preoccupied with doctor's appointments and work angst. The temporary "cure" for her neck troubles made things worse, and she is not enjoying the pain, paralysis and muscle spasms. She also misses writing, and she is testing voice recognition software as an alternative to typing words. So far, she has had so-so success using the software.

The downfall? She is spending less time with ME. The QUEEN in our household. So, while crazy lady was preoccupied this morning, I went outside. This means that I used my beautiful, delicate paws to OPEN THE DOOR and hide from she-who-must-be-obeyed. She knew I wasn't a "runner," (like Abby, the last one) but she was still worried when she saw the open door. Did someone break into the house? Was I stolen? Hmmm, there were paw prints on the glass...hah! I escaped and built myself a nest:When I heard her on the deck, I tried to sneak out of the nest-- but the bushes rustled too loudly, and my bee-hind was too large. She found me trying to wiggle out of my hiding spot. Like my indignant glare?She was impressed with my cunning and dexterity, however. She called me a "cat," and drew comparisons between my gorgeous self and the Evil Ones. Wicked, wicked tormentor. I am plotting my revenge...anyhow, she also decided to make a small video:

You will notice that I am an excellent Huntress. See if you can find me in the video, as I decimate the pig. Enjoy!

2 bunnies, 3 squirrels and ???

I am officially on lockdown. Crazy lady is tired of dumping bodies in the backyard. She doesn't mind the squirrels-- but Thumper & friends? There's something about dead bunnies on the doorstep that gives her hives.

Baby Bambi

We ran into this newborn critter, during our early morning walk in the woods today:I wore my e-collar, and only required 1 small zap to return to crazy lady on the trail. She had no idea what I was "hunting" until I walked her back to the baby deer, for another look. As soon as she saw the deer, crazy lady warned me to "leave it," and she said "let's go." Darn it. The compulsion to obey was greater than my desire to hunt. I was really hoping for a morning snack. I whined and barked, but followed crazy lady on the trail. She said that she is very proud of my restraint-- and very happy that I was trained to avert disaster. Crazy lady still has flashbacks to my smiling, bloody face, the last time we ran into Bambi.

Sugar the Protector

As you know, my favorite Cambridge spot is the window ledge. We live near the top of a high rise unit, overlooking the Boston highways, parks, Bunker Hill, harbors and Charles River. I can sit and ponder the meaning of life. I never bark, but occasionally growl at the feral cats living across the street. There's not much of a view, right below our building:
Last night, I barked. My hair stood up, I growled, and showed my fierce teeth. Crazy lady was so startled that it took her some time to crawl out of bed and look outside the window. What was I looking at, to cause a fierce reaction? There were 2 men trying to break into the buildings across the street. When they couldn't get into the buildings, they started to vandalize the trucks and cars. Crazy lady called the police. They came and caught one man, but another got away. When the police asked crazy lady, "how did you notice the men?" she replied, "my dog alerted me to danger, high up in our apartment."

I AM THE PROTECTOR.

Crazy lady was very proud of me. She gave me extra chicken. She also took me for a long walk in the snow this morning. I was moving so fast that the pictures were a total blur:
I finally stopped attacking the snow drifts, and crazy lady was able to get one good beauty shot:
Happy New Year!

Oh, what a beautiful morning!

Crazy lady is in a good mood. She's still waiting on the final results for Prop 8 (boo!) & Prop 4 (double-boo!), but at least there's hope in Congress and the Executive branches. Maybe the shift in our nation's politics will trickle down to the fools who keep putting anti-abortion and anti-marriage propositions on the state's ballot? Who knows? One can only hope (and fight!) for equality and tolerance.
Anyhow, I was enjoying the morning sunshine and crazy lady's pensive & happy mood. Aren't I gorgeous? At peace with the world? I love mornings.
Oh crap! Do you see it? Do you see the demonic presence sitting on top of the roof, overlooking the sanctuary of my dog run?
It must die.
Holy shruckers, batman! Son of your evil spawn! PLEASE let me purge the demonic presence from my sacred space. Please!
One last look-- perhaps crazy lady won't notice me? The shadows might work to my advantage.
She won't let me leave her side. She won't let me look at the demon. I must stand next to her, and look away from the evil creature that has invaded my sacred domain. I HATE CRAZY LADY.
When we returned to the cottage, I tried to give her a bit of alpha attitude:
But all she did was laugh, and tell me to get off the bed! Win some, lose some, I guess...

Averting Disaster

Remember my love for Bambi?
Beautiful, delicious, not-so-smart Bambi? While I miss the thrill of the hunt, I have been spending hours every day, for the past couple of weeks, learning to "come" and understanding my place in the household. Crazy lady suspects that I have been formally trained as a huntress, and cats were the favorite "bait" used to train me. She has no proof, but at least she has some understanding of my distinct hatred for those furry little beasts.

Regardless of my past training and incredible drive, we now...

(1) take walks using a Halti. I can still drink, eat and bite, but the Halti gives crazy lady more control during our walks.
(2) have started to use an electric "shock collar" for moments when I wander the yard, play off leash, or stalk a delicious prey. Crazy lady used the collar on herself, to make sure the shock was not harmful. It was a soft jolt, but the tests for her carpal tunnel syndrome are much more painful.
(3) tether me in the mornings, while crazy lady works on her edits and outlines in the office. Crazy lady tried to take a picture, but I was too busy sulking. I prefer the special collar and the Halti over tethering. I now glare at the wall while she works.

We went for special training with John at Euro-Training Kennels, and crazy lady has been following his instructions. Isis' mom Jen came along, to observe the shock collar training, take pictures, and provide additional insights about my behavior. I have been unusually comfortable with the shock collar, and crazy lady suspects that it's not a new experience for me. She will never know--- that's one secret I am going to keep.

Wild Dingo was right, however-- this is hard (but necessary) work! Crazy lady loved what Wild Dingo wrote in the comments section of the Bambi incident: "...truthfully (and i don't mean this as criticsm because i'm not perfect) but your little Bambi hunter should have halted and stopped the minute you said so, no matter what drive he's in, prey, play, praise or food. prey is a strong drive but your leadership and command should be able to stop him in his tracks. but it takes a LOT of training. hard training. Training you may not be so keen on." Wild Dingo recommends www.leerburg.com, an excellent web site for information and resources.

Well, I'm exhausted.
Training has been hard work, and I suspect crazy lady will remain consistent and diligent. She can't forget the sight of my bloody, smiling face during the Bambi hunt. I loved every moment of the hunt, but crazy lady says that my safety is more important than tasty venison. Bummer.

Bambi? Yum. Lunch.

Today, I developed a taste for Bambi. Crazy lady had just returned home, and she was on the phone. I had to pee, so she let me outside. Five seconds later, she saw a deer race by the open door-- with me chasing her, at full speed! I barely heard the, "holy shit, oh my god, stop, stop, oh my god, stop, ewwww, gross, stop!"

For an atheist, she certainly said god's name a lot.

I was too intent on capturing and chomping on the deer. I had grabbed the deer's hind legs and swung my 32 lb body full speed against the side of the beast, causing it to fall on the ground. It tried to kick me, but I was able to immobilize it with my strong jaw. I felt water hit my body, but didn't stop. Did crazy lady honestly think the hose would stop the hunt?

The deer escaped, and I chased it around the area and into the neighbor's yard. I was able to jump and sink my teeth into the deer 5 times. I could hear crazy lady running after me, swearing and falling over bricks. I was too fast, and having too much fun!

Crazy lady was finally able to stop me by getting in between myself and the injured deer. She calmly said "stop" and "stay" while holding out her hand. I stopped and stayed, smiling at her and covered in blood. I figured, "hey, I did all the work. She can have the final kill." I walked away and decided it was time to poop in the neighbor's yard. I ignored crazy lady's "un-frickin-believable" and let her take me home.

Crazy lady hosed me off and checked for injuries, especially since I was covered in blood. Although I wasn't hurt, she took me to the vet and I had to have a rabies booster shot. Animal control came and took care of the deer. They were very impressed with my prey instinct. One officer gave me a compliment: "Wow, she's so tiny and pretty. I wish I could have seen her take down that big deer. Amazing that she's not hurt. She'd be a great search and rescue dog, if properly trained."

Crazy lady can't sit or walk since she tore her groin muscles during the chase. She needed a distraction from her injuries, so crazy lady did some research about Formosan dogs, my breed from Taiwan. She was surprised at how a puny dog (her words, I prefer "beautiful sleek bitch") could take down a large animal. She found out that, through selective breeding, my ancestors were trained to hunt deer and wild boar. Here are some pictures she found from 1926:

Doesn't this look like my great, great, great grandma?
Crazy lady knows that she can't remove the prey instinct, but she made an appointment with a special trainer to see if he can teach me to "come" next time this happens. She's also keeping me in the dog run and house, to try and prevent this from happening again. Will this happen again? Absolutely. There are lots of deer around here, and I had the time of my life!